[b]Advice......[/b]

last SG · 2005-02-14T18:46:22+00:00

Hi everyone, yah, can really see the light but I will not rush into things yet, still no feeling for her, or maybe, I still need lots of time to recover and...

tan_william SG

me 23 this yr..people are growing up and becoming more mature as we go through all the trials life throw to us..don't you think you gain alot through this event??maybe in the future when we face more hardships..we might turn around and thank them for giving us this lesson so that we may be able to cope with the future hardships.. Smile

icepole SG

i'm 24. getting old.

everyone experience ups & downs in life. who hasn't? learn from it. we'll emerge stronger. at times, when you need a pillar of strength, you've got us or your friends to turn to. don't despair. cheer up!

ptw SG

haiz, you all younger than me and been through alot more than me. I have nothing to say. I am 29 this year, the reason why I cant let go or go through is because I am old enough to prepare for marriage and I thought I can plan for it but things happens.

Devil1976 SG

Things always happen in life and at times just don't go the way you expect it to be....

Get USED TO IT.... Cool

icepole SG

well, look at it from another perspective. at least you realised it way before you are into the marriage. also, plans do not always go according to what we've planned. that's the turning point. make another plan again. it's abt how you handle and manage it. and it's about choice again.

tan_william SG

yah..things dun usually go the way we planned..me with my ex for 4+ yrs liao..we were together for the whole of my poly life and 1st yr of my ns..we planned to go aust to study after i oreded..then get married when we turn 25..but now me oreded already..and she left me..sighz..what to do..life still goes on..me can only go study on my own..

icepole SG

hi tan_william

I'm sure you'll widen your social circles during your stay in Australia (if you still intend to go). I used to study in Australia. Was a great and wonderful experience. If you've got the chance, do make it there.

tan_william SG

thanks icepole..but the reason me wanna go aust that time is like wanna make it like a honeymoon for us before we get married..but now shes gone..so i applied for sim..save money.. Smile

ptw SG

I have met up with a friend of mine yesterday, she talked to me for very long. I told her why I cant move on is maybe because when I have a stable job, it seems in my heart, I owe her something. I didnt spent much on her cos I am poor and she was nice back then, willing to save up money for me etc etc but I am hurt cos when I have a stable job, I really want to bring her out for things that I and her cant afford to do. This have kept in my heart for a very long time.

I know that she did betray me but it seems 2 different issue. I dont really know how to describe. My friend told me its because I still think abt her and worst of all, I kept wondering awhat happens to her instead f hating her and thats why this makes me so miserable. She told me by cutting off all communication is a good thing for me to forget abt her fast but there is alot of uncleared issues yet to resolve such as why must end up so fast and nasty, what have I done, why cant she let me go in a much nicer way, what I have gone through with her and the 2 years of relationship loses to a guy whom she knew for less than a month or so?

M©+square SG

Hmm....so similiar to my previous break up. All you've typed here.....

ptw SG

tan_Willaim, what do you think I should do?

tan_william SG

ptw..forgive her..once a girl changes her heart..it is next to impossible to change back..she chose the way she wanna go already..you should also do likewise..you may have cut all communications with her..but now in your heart you still blame her for leaving you for someone else..that itself is the only thing me think is holding you back..keeping you chained to her..you should forgive her..then you can move on with your own life..time is only an issue if there is love in the 1st place..if the love is gone..what is that 2 years to her??nothing at all..are you going to stand there and do nothing just because of that 2 years??tell yourself to forgive her k??and move on..and cherish that girl that is waiting for you..to wait for someone everyday is a torture..to wait for someone with no deadline is hell..don't lost her then regret.. Smile

ptw SG

Hi tan_william, icepole and all the people who have already read this thread,

maybe tan_william is right, I kept blaming her and thats why I cant let go so easily. But its because of how she treats me and betray me for what I have done for her, giving me nasty remarks, ask her new bf to send me nasty sms, accepts him so easily, not even considering of how much I care for her during the period I and her are together and worst of all, plan so well how to dump me,, how to forgive and let her go? I know I may lost the chance if the girl I am going out now stops waiting for me. I am trying to build up courage and feelings too. Really not easy and I really dont want any misery to happen again.

tan_william SG

ptw..forgive her..really..its not worth your effort to blame her anymore..what do you get when you blame her??me understand the betrayal you felt..me just went to see her friendster photo..she put in a relatioship already..with 2 of their photos in it..my heart is still crying now as i am typing the words..the words ‘unfair’,’why’ also kept going around in my head at times..but yet i chose to forgive her..its hard..its very HARD..but it can be done..it MUST be done..only when you really forgiven her then you can be free..let it go..let her go..find your own happiness..she is not been fair to you when she broke all her promises to you..but are you been fair to the girl that is waiting for you??me not asking you to accept her now..its not possible..but cherish her..really..waiting for someone is not a good thing at all..you can ask her that..have you waited for people who are late before??how will you feel if he/she is late for 5 hrs??you will be mad right??think how is she feeling now??how long have she waited for you??pardon me typing so many words..but just feel that you are very lucky already..to have someone by your side now..don’t you feel you are abit more balanced when you are with her??don’t think so much about the past..if can..take a week break then find your friend or her go for a holiday(nice secenary one)..you will come back a different person..

ptw SG

Hi tan_william, sorry to hear abt what has happened to you, I also saw her photo in friendster too in december and her new bf photo. Understand how you feel. My ex has blocked it away from and only those who has connection with her can view the photos. I think I will set a time line to really let her go thoroughly, I hope. As for the new girl, I am not ready, just wait and see.

I shall not forget what has happened to me and what she has done to me. I may forgive but shall not forget.

Believe it or not, it is becos she left me, series of events happened that lands me in a stable job. I believe its god got eyes to see what misery I have gone through. I was blessed with a stable job but its up to me to move on.

Really hope that I will be blessed with a good girl, a girl who treasure me.

tan_william SG

Sorry for my outburst just now..abit unstable..but now fine already..forgive her is enough..no need to forget her..this kind of thing take time one..slowly..slowly you will forgive her..and good nitez..

icepole SG

naturally, there will be a certain amount of anger, injustice, regret or even guilt when a r'ship has ended. overcoming the hurt & pain from a failed r'ship doesn't happen instantly. you have to deal with your feelings in a calm yet courageous manner.

if it's over, learn to let go. never easy, but you just gotta try. what other better option than this? any strong reason to back your better option? why look back at why this & why that? do not let the past damage you. make peace with your past so you can love and trust again, not now maybe but in the future.

Life is about falling down and getting up again. Get back up, refine yourself, and go pursue what you really want (with hope and gusto, of course).

icepole SG

Everything precious including our dignity can be taken from us but the one thing that cannot be taken away is our power to choose what attitude we will take toward the offense that had happened. Viktor Frankl

parn SG

She left you because she doesn't love you anymore or she felt that you didn't love her anymore. She has her own reasons for leaving you and some of her reasons which you might never find out about.

She might be still grateful to you for all the help you have given her all these years, but gratefulness simply doesn't evolve to love most of the time.

If you still love her, win her back with your love. Else, time to move on and start paying attention to other girls who has been with you all this while. Smile

Good luck, hope you are feeling better now...it's been a while since that unfortunate incident fell on you. Smile

ptw SG

Hi Parn,

I have thought of this issue before too, she is a girl who dont think much in depth and worst of all, even if she dont love me, a normal girl will not end a relationship so nastily, using me to prove to his new guy that she is loyal by allowing him to sms me. Sorry, not to defend myself, I just dun think thats the right way,

I will let her go once I have settled myself down. Theres nothing I can do.

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